From the Desk of Jennifer Lorch Selco | Sr. Director of Jewish Living + Engagement ⋆ JCC Tucson

From the Desk of Jennifer Lorch Selco | Sr. Director of Jewish Living + Engagement

November 14, 2025

From the Desk of Jennifer Lorch Selco | Sr. Director of Jewish Living + Engagement

This week’s Torah portion, Chayei Sarah, begins with the death of Sarah. Abraham buys a plot in the Cave of Makhpelah to bury her. He sends a servant to find a wife for Isaac. Rebekah is chosen, after she passes the test (you may recall, not only does she fetch water for Isaac, but also for his camels…no easy task). The two are married. Abraham dies and Isaac and Ishmael bury him in the Cave of Makhpelah.

About the test Rebecca is given and passes with flying colors, Rabbi Shai Held in his book, The Heart of Torah Volume 1 Essays on the Weekly Torah Portion: Genesis and Exodus writes, “But at another level, the servant may understand something critical about traumatized, taciturn Isaac: He is not capable of asking for everything he needs. A suitable wife for Isaac will need not only to listen to what he says, but also to try and intuit what he cannot say. The servant’s test is about compassion, but it is also about sensitivity and discernment, about responding to unspoken needs and yearnings (page 44).”

This is not the same Rebekah we find in next week’s portion, Toldot. After giving birth to twins, she favors one over the other and becomes manipulative in helping Jacob acquire the birthright blessing from Isaac. Why does the Torah offer paradoxical portrayals of Rebekah?

Rabbi Held concludes, “But emotional sensitivity is not guarantee of kindness; the ability to understand other people’s experience can elicit generosity, but it can also enable scheming and manipulation – often in the very same person. In its portrayal of Rebekah, the Torah presents a sobering reminder of what is perhaps the simplest and deepest truth we know about ourselves: People are complicated (page 48).”

We are human and sometimes life is messy. And, we have a choice – what is the version of ourselves we want to put into the world? This Shabbat, may we find the opportunity for restorative peace, reflection and renewal so that we may continue to put the best version of ourselves forward.

As we head into Shabbat, Parshat Chayei Sarah invites us to think about what it means to truly see one another—Rebekah’s compassion, intuition, and imperfections—remind us people are complex, each with their own stories and journeys. At the Tucson J, that spirit guides our work every day; we’re here to support our community members in their individual paths to wellness through programming that helps each person in bringing forward their best and most authentic self.

This week at the J began Saturday at PBS Children’s Day hosted by the Tucson Children’s Museum. Over 2,000 members of the broader community stopped by the event! We had a chance to chat about the incredible programs and services we offer that benefit youth and families, pass out PJ Library books and guest passes, and share the warm and welcoming spirit of belonging that makes the J a place where everyone can come to learn, grow, play and thrive.

On Monday, less than a week after we hosted the inaugural Z3@Tucson, four J team members and two lay leaders, including Todd Rockoff, CEO + President, and Fran Katz, Chief Development Officer, returned from the Z3 Conference hosted by the Oshmann Family JCC in Palo Alto. This year’s Z3 Conference theme was “Why We Persist? How We Thrive?” and was notably more upbeat than the previous two years. Two years ago conference-goers heard from Gal Gilboa, brother of hostage Guy Gilboa who was released just last month. This year, he shared over video recording how being at Z3 in Palo Alto was the first event he went to advocate for the safe return of his brother and the other hostages. Other notable presenters included Rachael Goldberg-Polin and Jonathan Polin, Sarah Hurwitz, Miri Mesika (Israeli singer and actress), and the hilarious Dan Ahdoot (comedian). Breakout sessions were focused on politics and policy, Jewish identity, Jewish education and antisemitism. Rabbi Amitai Fraiman, Z3 Project Director shared, “Z3 is a paradigm for internalizing sovereignty, for taking responsibility for our collective story,” he continued. “Davka,” he said, using a Hebrew word that means both “precisely” and “in spite of everything,” “Davka, we will persist, and we will thrive.”

On Tuesday, Linda Travis, Director of Healthy Aging at the J, along with her staff and volunteers, hosted a luncheon to celebrate National Family Caregivers Month. Together, everyone had a chance to connect and bond, and Pamela Adler, one of our group fitness instructors and Healthy Aging advocates, addressed the group about the importance of mindfulness and yoga to relieve stress and burnout.

Also this week we celebrated the JShop Intern of the Week, Daniel! Daniel is known for his friendly and outgoing attitude, being super supportive with his colleagues at the JShop, and his exemplary sales skills! If you haven’t yet stopped by the JShop, this Monday and Tuesday are a great time to make a visit for the Annual DPS Fall Art Sale! The shop will be selling their usual wares, with the addition of handmade crafts made by Taglit participants as well as paintings, prints, and greeting cards made by our friends at Arts for All. The sale runs 9am-12pm at the JShop located at the back of the Wellness Desk.

As we end the week, we invite you to embrace a moment of calm and reflection so we can keep showing up for one another and ourselves with intention and heart in the week ahead. Shabbat Shalom.